Dastardly foreign plot to undermine Packers revealed

Have you ever accidentally stumbled upon something so sinister, so evil, so disturbing that you just wanted to gouge your eyes out with a broken pencil and then bang your head repeatedly on a cinder block until you induced amnesia?

Me neither.

Until today, when I uncovered what can only be described as a foreign plot to sabotage the Packers in the most vile way possible. We're not talking about a harmless prank, like putting Icy Hot down McCarthy's pants. Instead, a member of the Green and Gold's life may very well be at stake.

I wish I wasn't the one to pass this on to you. Your lives would be so much easier if you were ignorant of what's brewing across the Pacific. But you need to know. So brace yourself; this isn't an easy truth to swallow.

Gilbert Brown defies gravity

Earlier today, I was looking for ways to beat the off-season boredom, so naturally that meant I was over on Gilbert Brown's Wikipedia page.

I learned some pretty neat stuff about the Grave Digger that I hadn't been aware of before. For instance, his desire to get away from his hometown of Detroit, where one of his classmates had been killed in gang-related violence, prompted him to turn down Bo Schembechler and the Wolverines and instead play football for the Kansas Jayhawks. I also found out that, despite being a third-round draft selection, he was cut by the Vikings before his rookie season began due to weight issues. Oh, and apparently he always beat his brothers home from school (thank you, Wikipedia).

Yet I also stumbled upon something that just didn't seem to mesh with the Gilbert Brown that I had known and loved. Something that my Gilbert wouldn't, just couldn't do. Something that left me questioning what I knew about the theory of gravity.

Life is a playground and Chilly wants someone to play with

I came across this video while over at Kissing Suzy Kolber, an excellent site that combines football with some very, very adult humor. The only reason I'm reposting it is because, as the lads at KSK so observantly noted, half of the men in this video look like Brad Childress.

 Watch up and let me know what you think.

Is there room for TO in GB?

Five time All-Pro wide receiver Terrell Owens is still on the market. Say what you want about his off (and on) the field antics, this guy is one of the most accomplished WR's in NFL history, ranking 6th in receiving yards and 3rd in receiving touchdowns. I know we have a pretty stacked receiving corp, but adding another weapon could be what it takes to push us over the top. Plus, we play all four of his former teams this coming season (San Fran, Philly, Dallas, and Buffalo), so maybe that could serve as some extra motivation for TO. Should Ted Thompson and Co. consider giving the guy a look?

Jamie Dukes' criteria for "Top QB" is whack

For the most part, I like NFL Network personality Jamie Dukes. He seems like a nice enough guy. Sure he likes to ramble and is more often than not nonsensical, but at least he's enthusiastic, if not downright jovial. Heck, if you slapped a shaggy white beard on the man, I'd say he'd be the spitting image of good ol' Santa Claus...except for the whole "being black" thing.

See...I wasn't making this stuff up.

But even though he may very well be the chocolate version of Kris Kringle, Mr. Dukes' analysis in a recent NFL Network video did not have me feeling all warm and fuzzy like I do on the night before Christmas. That's because Jamie Dukes said some really, really stupid things, which I, and probably any other sane football fan out there, took offense to.